Friday, January 16, 2009
Life is so smart in proving you stupid, the universe is slick and stacks the unpredictable just like it hides beauty in the sound of a waterfall. Your brain hangs to old sayings, looking for the safe way out but today you are the exception and the infinity of your ego is nullified by the infinity of failure methods.
You see, in the beginning I believed with all my heart, strongly, mind attached that the moment you will see your true love, you will know… just know. That was the beginning… just so I know now, that I was sorted by fate to the coldest soul ever.
In front of a mirror people are fake, projecting fantasies, reading their ideal version of ego on steroids. The ego is getting high on the self reflection. The soul is getting frozen by the perspective your brain is painting each day.
Do you know that personality is painted in you cells? I learned to read that and I can't tell you how gray the world has turned for me. The worst of fates - I have become a cold mirror - not the image in it - I can't be charmed anymore.
I remember the beginning, when teleportation was just announced, the fuss it created, the enthusiasm, the moral debates, the investors rush.
I went to study and did my practice in the first teleport station – the experimental one – even before major cities get one. Investors pushed strong and we were left to deal with this mess hoping that the future will fix our mistakes – but future never fixes misconceptions.
The first major station was so nice and shiny – humans only – age limit 21-35 – San Francisco (Silicon Valley) – Tokyo. They were freezing you so slow, the scanning of your body was quite primitive and searching the unified field for the same version of you in the other station could take so much that sometimes it was faster to take the plane from a place to the other and get there faster.
Rich people installed terminals in their houses. Soon people were more afraid to teleport than flying – after the first malformations things got scandalous. Now there are stations everywhere. The one killing my days is now so old and creepy – looks just like an old rural train station - the thing I hated the most when I joined the teleport business. It's sad when the edge of technology - so advanced it humiliates all minds - turns into the dusty casual thing everyone uses without even thinking how it works or why.
Now it's all a disgusting adventure. Except for the regular travelers people get so sick that almost everyone pukes as they exit the capsule. In the animals area the smell is even stronger.
We have 24 cleaning robots that got so full of puke I don’t think the smell will ever disappear. The arriving platform is like a haunted hospital – everyone is so pale, the floor tiles are now losing color and the steam from the freezing unit looks green from the ionized Magnesium particles.
First time travelers stop and look in the mirrors placed on the exit hallway for minutes long. Dressed in their single use blue shirts we put them as they exit, they have the feeling they see themselves for the first time – they do check to see if what they knew they were at departure, has arrived on this side identical. Let me tell you one thing – no sex revolution changed a damned thing. When confronted to the undressing moment for freezing and scanning everyone hesitates. I remember when only people with a good impression of their bodies were willing to be scanned, oh, I’ve seen some beauties. Not to mention – there is no make-up – the smell of fresh clean skin… I remember I wanted to stay in the cleaning chamber after a beauty was processed – I know… I’m a pervert.
People came to me in secret to recommend them a good partner.
“Hey man… do you know a natural blonde with big real boobs?”
“Hey dude, I was just thinking, I mean... you scanned me, you know me already… eh – what kind of women should I look for? “
“Uh.. I’m sorry to ask, but I’ve been so lonely, nice guys are all taken… I’m sure you’ve seen some kind people, with no big dreams, someone for a nice family… I’m getting so old, please…”
I could do it… I could, but I decided I don’t have this right. Even if I can read a person trough the smallest details, even if my opinion as a true observer is more qualified than of any cupid, I only look to what happened to me to realize that fate is stronger, smarter and I shouldn’t mess with pairing peoples, with the chances of their own destiny, with fate.
So here I am, scanning humans the same way you look at people passing next to you while you have your coffee on a terrace with a nice view. You spot a beauty, she looks back at you, eye contact, a smile and you ego is served – you exist. Some people don’t need more. It was everything I was looking for when I was a student.
I wanted people to acknowledge me. Soon I was searching only for special people’s look.
The more I scan, the more I know, the more I want something special. Isn’t it the same with you?
That rich beautiful lady with the small dog... out of your league you say – she gets to my POD, I’m scanning and her true existence is suddenly clear for me. I see her needs, her desires, her fears and she is so similar to everyone, suddenly she seems so small, I could just take her hand and tell her: "No more fear, no harm will happen to you, the unified field has both of us blended already. Everything will be all right."
For years I told myself – what will I do If I see her? My true love… naked and scanned before my eyes. Should I save the data? I could try few days or minutes after the teleport to send the data again to where I want – a romantic place, my home or to the lab, telling her it was a malfunction and we retain her for investigation… or better scan myself and send myslef to the same address. I wanted to try this… something only I could do – stream myself in her. I could mix the data of her and me and see what comes out in the other side.
The unified been of two. It should be like…
- Good morning Mr. Alzhei
- ‘morning Dave.
Mr. Alzhei is a regular. His company pays for it and he is traveling more that it’s legally accepted. He has a bad situation, needs the money for his malformed daughter – teleport accident. Now he is teleporting himself sometimes twice per day and for that he’s getting a lot of pills. Severe depression and anxiety and this kind of things are the side effects.
Anyway... it's all an illusion. Two months ago the miracle happened - as any miracle fast and beyond comprehension. Did you know that miracles are things so common everyone will believe you if you’d tell them?
I was driving my car slowly on a crowded street when I saw her. One girl, simple shoes, dark hair, busy look, I don’t even know how or what caught my eye... she crossed the street in front of my car. My foot touched the break… a reflex I still question today. Without any scanner, I knew it was her, the one, it felt like I see my current wife while I never had one. Something was so out of place – I always feel an attraction in the scanning room for girls that are like the aquarium fish – blondes, red heads, more aggressive, untouchable… you know? She was in a hurry, didn't even look me... she just crossed the street, looking only on how not to get killed by the likes of me, with no glitter, she walked painting a pastel to me.
Before I could even think what I should do, the traffic pushed me further and with each meter I was moving away from that moment, the feeling that I was running away from my only chance wanted to choke me. But each day of job made me so resigned that I just moved over this moment with the same placid face I see myself in the mirror each morning. Probably my feeling chocked someone else that day.
That night I dreamed I was in a bar and I could see above the heads of each person the percentage of perfect matching. At the end of the dancing floor a great looking girl was only 15%, the lady that seemed to in love with her boy was around 73%. Something told me that they were a bad match.
The door opens and this short hair red head waits for the crowd to bow and let her pass. She had 99.9% above her head. I couldn't do a thing. Part of me was trying to act cool and not to stare, other was amazed and excited and just in panic – “what should I do to be noticed?” my ego was yelling so hard the barman seemed to throw me a mean look for disturbing the whole place. She came straight to me. We started talking and soon we were not in the bar anymore... we were in... somehow… our house. I told her I had this power of seeing the matching percentage and how she is so perfect... she told me she had a secret too. Places her hand between my legs and I feel I’m growing. She has the power to model humans just like they are made of clay. Touching me... we make love, and where she is touching she is changing my shapes. All is blurry and so amazing, my shapes are shifting on and on... I had the feeling I could become whoever I ever wanted despite my fate, I could choose my soul, I could be perfect and have the most amazing girl in the world. Somehow time was running out, like the night was about to come, I want to hold her, keep her…
I wake up... it is morning. I go to the bath and I don’t recognize my image in the mirror.