Saturday, December 27, 2008

Felix: The apprentice

From Zilnic

1 mentos tube.
2 tic tac orange.
4 bottles asprin
12 kilograms of turkish delight
one red cabbage
one rope of garlic
dry mint
thermo-isolated cup.

58.87 $

Always paying with brand new money made me curious. That was the first sign. As always, he picks everything up and shoves the paper bags in the back of his truck. I could swear there was something fishy with the man. Danny was sitting next to me and wants to look over the fence too.
... he's coming damn it... HIDE!
- He’s coming here?
- SHHH... shut up Danny.
- What’s he doing?
- He’s got a shovel... what the hell?
- Can I look?
- SIT DOWN DANNY! He's leaving... let's go through the back... maybe he goes home.

We running like crazy jumping over the stuff on Mss. Glasburry that she keeps in her garden. We get there before the truck. We see him unloading all the stuff and from the back... he gets a dead dog, I swear!
Danny has a slow moment of initiative.
- We… we… we have to tell the police or something.
- Shut up Danny... I’m going closer.
- I stay here… if you want.
- Yeah. Stay here... if i don't come in an hour or so, go tell my brother. Do you have your cell with you?
- My mom has it now... hers is broken and...
- Ok... ok... never mind. If it gets dark and I’m not out... tell Nick about it.

Long pause here... nobody does or say anything I don’t know how but it's how it went. After a while Danny breaks the silence again.

- You know what Katie was saying about him?
- No... what?
- That he must be a killer, a priest or a fashion designer.
- Why?
- Dunno. She was talking about his coat.
- It’s a cool coat.
- Yeah but she said... it's not what grown up should wear unless they have a mission.
- A mission? Do designers have a mission, you idiot? Whatever... I’m going closer.
- ok...
- ok...

Getting closer i get to peak trough the barely cracked window of the basement. He puts some music... stupid dance crap... and he opens a sort of a drawer. I can't see what's in it... from this angle i can barely see his head and only guess what he is doing. It looks like a lab or .. at that pointi see him how he takes the dead dog and puts it in the washing machine. A horrible smell comes out right in my nose. It’s so bad I have to close my eyes.
When i open them up again... the window is fully open and he looks straight into my eyes whispering:
- Hey Felix, would you give me a hand?

I want to answer but I’m all stunned. I was running in fact, if I could, but I was just sitting there. He says...
- Go around. The door is open. Don't let the cats out, ok? Come... you'll like this.
At this point you can tell I was really scared, but man... I wanted to see, and you know i'm not a chicken. I was all shaky but I went.
I get to the hallway, it's a normal house with a lot of stuff in it... nothing seemed wrong... i mean I was expecting blood stains, or altars or something. I take the stairs down the basement.
- Quick... close the door - i don’t want to stink up my entire house.
- Mr. what are you doing with the dead dog?
- It’s a lucky day Felix. You'll see. Want something sweet, Turkish delight?
- No sir... it stinks too hard here.
- How about some Mentos?
- Did you kill it?
- No, I found it on the street outside the town. It was hit by a truck last night. I tried to rescue it but it was too late.
- I see. Do you need my help sir?
- Yeah man, we need to make a sort of a thin bed of Turkish delight first... over that metal plate there.
- What's that sign on it?
- Ah... the artist in me. If it works I’ll explain to you.
- Is it dangerous sir?
- Ha ha ha - no my little friend. Come on, you're smarter than this.

So we start putting Turkish delight over the big metal plate. He's eating from it while arranging it... and he sings along with the music. As soon as we have it all covered up he brings several bottles of strange looking liquids and some jars with freaky stuff. And while singing he's mumbling stuff:
"Umm... a little dust from dried up mouse tails... a bit of this... a bit of... ah… I’m gonna run out of parrot eggs... hmm"

- Felix boy, can you help me with that TicTac? Let's smash about half of the box and mix it well with this little blue rocks... in fact you know what? Put them in the blender over there... it's not the perfect option but it does for the job.
I bring him the result... he starts to mix it with another stuff... anyway... things go a bit more complicated. It's getting late and I’d better tell Danny not to alarm my brother. Before i even finish thinking he goes...
- Don’t worry... Nick is really busy tonight. He'll meet his first woman. And Danny is already home.
- WHAT? How do you know? What are you talking about?
- Relax my little friend... I’m on your side. You like Katie right? See? I know all this stuff... and it's not magic. I'm just trained at see things... it's OBSERVATION!
- And the dead dog in your washing machine is also observation mister?
- He he... no... that's... good luck.
- What do you mean sir? What is this all for ?
- For a girl, obviously, he says with a big smile on his face.
- To get her love sir? To marry her? To what ?
- ha ha ha
- To make her love you?
- My little darling... aren't you too smart for your age?

True love it's something that requires decency and no artifacts. Not to mention, even if you shift the quantics to favor the love Gods you still end up with a bribed love. Corruption my friend is not making me hot at all. No... all this is for something much more simple.
Bring me that paper next to the laptop.
- This one?
- Yep.
- What’s written on it ?
- Looks like an email address.
- Read it.
- I can't.
- Exactly... the damn glossy paper and her ball point pen... not the perfect mix. Now it's all so unclear... not to mention... her hand writing. I mean... I managed the other day, when I ordered the pears and the mint shampoo from your mom’s store - you remember? You were right next to me...
- Yeah
- So i managed to see the initial writing... but I didn't understood a thing – it that an “a” or an “o” and that a “d” or… and it's supposed girls to have a nice hand writing...
- Well... some do.
- Katie eh?
- Yeah... so all this will help in what way?
- Come... let's make a small sacrifice to the gods of the internet – ha ha. Really, modern age has so many things at hand it's a pity not to use them. Get that gas torch and let's heat up the Turkish delight bed.

Soon the mixture on the iron plate starts to change color. The sign drew on the bottom lights up and it gets so bright I couldn't keep the eyes full open. Right then the man gets the dog’s washed up body and throws it in the middle... in few seconds the thing becomes all dark and the room is full of smoke...
- Now... the tic-tac mixture...
I had the feeling a small earthquake shakes the house.
He takes the laptop and grabbing me... he says:
- Come!
We go upstairs... we're all dirty but we rush straight in the white living room. Without taking his eyes from his laptop... he gets to the fridge.
- Milk? Orange juice?
- Sprite if you have.
- Have some orange juice.... quit drinking sparkling stuff.
Having said that... we see the messenger window popping up.
This girl, with a funny name gets online. I swear... it was magical... the look on his face. With the glass in his hand.. noting was moving in the whole house – the cats were all like stunned – I was too. After a moment…
- I should go now... sir.
- Thank you Felix… come again.
- I'll buzz you next time I'm online sir.
- Yeah...
At home nobody seemed to notice anything strange about me. I only felt cooler and smarter. Katie is online and she asks me about school. I think it’s for the first time she asks me anything. Weird eh?
Nick didn’t came home that night.
Danny moved out with his mother. He still believes I’m inventing all this. By observation, he will have a boring life. Now .. if you excuse me… I have a long and strange shopping list.

No comments: